Only 2 more Sundays in the season of Easter. Then Pentecost. Then ordinary time. In our small community here on the outskirts of the Austin Metro area, we have a family experiencing a tragic loss. This in the midst of a global pandemic and the accompanying upheaval and uncertainty. And the pandemic is overlaid atop ongoing systemic racial injustice, as we mourn the murders of Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, and the countless other Black people who have been lynched in this country.

The Easter season is about resurrection while we are walking through a time of unveiling, and among families experiencing death. As it so often does, the Lectionary prompts me to reflect on the Now in light of its account and what wisdom I can glean from it. How to reconcile?

“In him we live and move and have our being,” the author of Acts quotes Paul as saying. “God has listened…[and] given heed to the words of my prayer,” says the Psalmist. “I will not leave you orphaned,” says the Christ in John 14.

Here’s a prayer for us as we navigate this dissonance: the ever-present love of God alongside the pains, traumas, and losses we inevitably experience in this life.

God, we are tested.
We are tried as silver is tried.
We are never guaranteed physical safety.
We know that with love comes risk of loss.

I recently sat with my grandmother in the last days of her life. My mom and I were there holding her hand as she took her last breaths. It was a profound experience that has brought me to think about all the forms grief takes, and my own experience of grieving - how unpredictable it is, how sometimes consuming, how suddenly past only to reappear again. We grieve events, losses, trauma, time passing, people passing… and I’m coming to believe that grieving is not just some mental or emotional space that we are plunged into by life events; it is also a skill we can practice and hold space for. And the only way to get through this life whole is to learn the skill. If we can’t accept pain and process it through appropriate grief, we will be constantly resisting the experience of life. Through grief, we learn to integrate experiences we (dualistically) judge to be “good” and “bad”, bringing them into wholeness. The more life I experience, the more I’m convinced that learning to hold the tension of grief is as powerful a life skill as, say, positive thinking or good communication or self-care. Here's a prayer for skill-building, available on my Patreon page.

If my work has value to you and your community, please consider becoming a supporter on Patreon, where you get access to exclusive litanies and content. This month’s Patreon-only litany is Litany for Grieving.