Litanie voor Oekraine (Dutch translation of Litany for Ukraine)

Hello friends, below is a version of my “Litany for Ukraine” translated into Dutch by Anri van Toor. Many thanks to Anri for sending this along.

Terwijl Rusland doorgaat met zijn onuitgelokte en kwaadaardige invasie van Oekraïne, bidden we tot de Heer voor onze broers en zussen daar.
Dit gebed is bedoeld om hardop te worden gebeden in gemeenten of samenkomsten van welke omvang dan ook, met bronvermelding. 


God, onze harten zijn gebroken voor onze Oekraïense broers en zussen
Voor allen die lijden,
Voor allen die ontheemd zijn,
Voor allen die vechten,
Voor allen die sterven,
Voor allen die angstig zijn,
Voor allen die vastberaden zijn,
Voor allen die zich hopeloos voelen.

We zijn verdrietig en onze harten draaien om
Dat er opnieuw oorlog wordt gevoerd tegen onschuldigen, tegen iedereen.
We klagen en rouwen om deze rampspoed
en wijden ons tot het geven van onze kracht en liefde aan wie vechten,
terwijl wij vragen of al het bloedvergieten ophoudt.
En gelijk Christus gispen* wij geweld.

Wij vragen om een snelle oplossing voor deze oorlog en een einde aan deze invasie.
We vragen om vrede en veiligheid voor alle Oekraïners.
Wij vragen om wijze en moedige leiders, slim en creatief, die zich inzetten voor het welzijn van allen.
Wij vragen om vrede op het Europese continent.
Wij vragen in woord en daad om een wereld waarin oorlog en agressie nooit een optie zijn.
Wij vragen om ware gerechtigheid en dat er vrede heerst over de hele aarde.

God, dwarsboom de bloeddorstigen en machtsgeilen (1).
Geef de hebzuchtigen geen kans.
Vernietig de plannen van de goddelozen.
Verwar de gedachten van de kwaaddoeners.

Ergens weten we dat we de vijand van Oekraïne samen met hen moeten liefhebben (2).
Ergens moeten we ons verbinden aan het infuus van Gods mededogen voor deze indringers.
Ergens weten we dat we de vrede en vergeving van Christus moeten belichamen (3).
Ergens mogen we het kwaad niet laten winnen. Help ons. 

O, God, een oorlog vergt het uiterste van onszelf –
De grenzen van onze eigen menselijkheid;
Een oorlog brengt ons zo ver dat we niet anders kunnen dan dat we ons herinneren uit Wie wij voortkomen, Wiens beeld wij dragen.
Als we tenminste in de Liefde willen blijven
Christus liet zijn vrede bij ons achter (4),
Laat de mensheid haar nu vastgrijpen.

Amen


  1. Psalm 57:3

  2. Mattheus 5:44

  3. Johannes 20:22,23

  4. Johannes 14:27

*     Gispen = sterk afkeuren

Vertaling uit het Engels door Irene Plas (Limwierde Taaldiensten) & Anri van Toor (Inside Out Publishers)

Ash Wednesday (Year C, 2022): Litany for Reconciling to God

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See also Litany for Ash Wednesday (2016)

This Ash Wednesday, we find ourselves in the midst of yet another tricky, dangerous global situation. It’s nothing new. There’s always a war somewhere. I began writing litanies in 2013 because I couldn’t find congregational prayers that addressed the war in Syria. I’ve written litanies about wars and tragedies more than just about anything else. Par for the course. I wish I could stop helping people pray about war (not whining, just saying). 

But I can’t. It’s here and we need to keep consciously aligning (reconciling) ourselves with God about it. So we keep praying, and I keep writing. 

Still, when the Psalmist pleads with God to “Have mercy on me!” we feel that in a different way from the brink of major global conflict, don’t we? Our nearness to dust, to death, is that much more in our awareness. 

When St. Paul entreats us to “On behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God!” we can pray that same intention: Russian aggressors, be reconciled to God! Heads of state, be reconciled to God! Military leaders, be reconciled to God! Arms manufacturers, be reconciled to God! And so on. 

So this year, we start our Lenten practice with this intention, and we commit to buckling down and praying through the storm of war and bloodshed, and doing as much justice and mercy as we can; and over and over, reconciling ourselves to God within us. 

God, on this Ash Wednesday, the beginning of the Lenten season, we seek to reconcile ourselves to you .
We want the whole earth to be aligned with your goodness, 
Such that all violence and war ceases, 
All the needy are nourished and cared-for,
All oppression ends,
And every person is filled with joy and gladness ….


Letanía por Ucrania

Aqui esta una versión de mi “Litany for Ukraine” en Español, generosamente traducido por Rubén Ortiz

Dios, estamos desconsolados por nuestros hermanos ucranianos.
Por quienes están sufriendo,
Por los desplazados,
Por quienes están luchando,
Por quienes están muriendo,
Por quienes tienen miedo,
Por quienes son audaces,
Por aquellos a los que les falta la esperanza.

Estamos tristes y enfermos de corazón.
Otra guerra nuevamente contra inocentes, contra cualquiera.
Nos lamentamos y enlutamos por esta tragedia.
Nos comprometernos a prestar nuestra fuerza y ​​amor por los que están luchando,
Incluso mientras pedimos que cese todo derramamiento de sangre.
Tal y como Cristo se avergüenza de la violencia, así también lo hacemos. 

Pedimos una pronta resolución de esta guerra y el fin de esta invasión.
Pedimos paz y seguridad para todos los ucranianos.
Pedimos líderes sabios y audaces que sean inteligentes, creativos y comprometidos con el bien de todos.
Pedimos la paz en el continente europeo.
Pedimos, y promulgamos con nuestros cuerpos, un mundo donde la guerra y la agresión nunca sean una opción.
Pedimos que la verdadera justicia y la paz reine sobre toda la tierra.

Frustra a los sanguinarios y hambrientos de poder, Dios (1).
No tengas a bien a los codiciosos.
Destruye los planes de los malvados.
Confunde la mente de los malhechores.

De alguna manera, sabemos que también debemos amar al enemigo de Ucrania (2).
De alguna manera, debemos buscar compasión de Dios para los invasores.
De alguna manera, sabemos que debemos encarnar la paz y el perdón de Cristo (3).
De alguna manera, no debemos permitir que el mal gane al final del día. Ayúdanos.

Oh Dios, la guerra nos lleva a los mismos confines de nosotros mismos -
Los bordes de nuestra propia humanidad;
Nos lleva tan lejos que no tenemos más remedio que recordar nuestra divinidad, que somos imagen de Dios, Imago Dei,
Si descansamos en Aquel que ama a todos.
Cristo nos deja su paz con nosotros (4),
Hagamos que la humanidad se agarre de ella.

Amén


1) Salmo 57:3

2) Mateo 5:44

3) Juan 20:22,23

4) Juan 14:27


Litany for Ukraine

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As Russia continues its unprovoked and evil invasion of Ukraine, we pray to the Lord for our siblings there.
This prayer is intended to be prayed aloud in congregations or gatherings of any size, with attribution.

God, we are heartbroken for our Ukrainian siblings
For all who are suffering,
For all who are displaced,
For all who are fighting,
For all who are dying,
For all who are fearful,
For all who are resolute, 
For all who feel hopeless.

We are sad and sick at heart
That war has once again been waged on innocents, on anyone.
We lament and mourn this tragedy
And commit to lending our strength and love to those in the fight,
Even as we ask for all bloodshed to cease.
As Christ has shamed violence, so do we.

We ask for a quick resolution to this war and an end to this invasion.
We ask for peace and safety for all Ukrainians.
We ask for wise and bold leaders who are clever, creative, and committed to the good of all.
We ask for peace on the European continent.
We ask for, and enact with our bodies, a world where war and aggression are never an option.
We ask for true justice and peace to reign over all the earth.

Thwart the bloodthirsty and power-hungry, God (1).
Deny the greedy.
Lay waste to the plans of the wicked.
Confuse the minds of evil-doers.

Somehow, we know we must love Ukraine’s enemy with them (2).
Somehow, we must tap into the compassion of God for these invaders.
Somehow, we know we must embody the peace and forgiveness of Christ (3).
Somehow, we must not let evil win the day. Help us.

Oh God, war brings us to the very ends our ourselves -
The edges of our own humanity;
It takes us so far that we have no choice but to remember our divinity, our Imago Dei,
If we are to continue in Love at all.
Christ left his peace with us (John 14:27),
Now let humanity take hold of it.

Amen

  1. Psalm 57:3

  2. Matthew 5:44

  3. John 20:22,23



Transfiguration Sunday (Year C, 2022): Litany for Spiritual Practice

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See also: “Transfiguration Sunday (Year C): Litany for Impatience” from 2019)

I find it interesting how the timeline goes in the story of Christ’s transfiguration. I notice that he gets transfigured (filled with light) and meets with his guides (Moses and Elijah) while he’s praying alone. Not in a group.

Jesus is in his corner minding his own business attending to his own spiritual work in solitude. And that’s where the transfiguration happens. That’s the place from which the guidance and encouragement comes. From the spiritual practice of prayer, contemplation, silence, solitude.

I meet plenty of people who think I’m totally wrong about spiritual practice. Meaning, spiritual practice that involves stillness, solitude or silence being a path to communion with God. People disagree with me, and that’s fine. The world’s mystics seem to agree, based on their writings. Regardless, I’ll still preach the gospel of the transformative (transfigurative) power of spiritual practice till my body gives out.


God, we set our intention to realize the truth about ourselves:
That we bear your image,
That your Kin-dom is within us,
When we look in a mirror, we see your glory.

Epiphany 7 (Year C, 2022): Litany for Fretting

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(See also: “Litany for the Hard Teachings” - in PATREON - which focuses on the beatitudes of Luke 6)

Upon this reading of the Lectionary passages for this week, I’m bowled over by the word “fret.”

Do not fret because of the wicked (Psalm 37:1)
Do not fret over those who prosper by way of evil. (Psalm 37:7)
Do not fret--it leads only to evil. (Psalm 37:8)
Do not fret about your safety (Psalm 37:40)
Do not fret about your enemies (Luke 6:27).
Do not fret about meanies who hit or steal from you (Luke 6:29)
Do not fret about what others are doing that you don’t like (Luke 6:37).
Do not fret over whether you’ll have enough (Luke 6:38).
Do not fret about that bad thing you did (Genesis 45:5).

I’m thinking about all the fretting I do, which I’m working on unlearning. Wow, I can really fret with the best fretters around.

But I want to learn the Way of No Fretting. The way of trust and gratitude. The way of childlike faith in God’s care. The way of Julian’s “All shall be well.”

And there’s a lot to fret about. More things than we can even take in with our human minds. The fret-fest is overwhelming.

So we ask ourselves: where do we want to live? In world-driven, low consciousness (asleep to God) hamster wheel of fretting about this and that? Or in Spirit? In love? In the freedom from worry and fretting which is salvation, the imperishable? I think we get to choose. Every day we choose.

Easier said than done but we keep practicing.


God, in these days it's easy for us to fret over political divisions,
Over potential wars and conflicts,
Over the possibility of losing our way of life,
Over the future of our planet,
Over an endless array of problems and threats.
This anxiety can immobilize us and render us useless.

Epiphany 6 (Year C, 2022): Litany for the Blessing of God

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This litany is based primarily in this week’s Lectionary Gospel reading from Luke 6, but I’m also exploring some of the ways God’s reputation has been besmirched and misinterpreted by the global church; and how we might come to the Divine freshly, using the lens of Luke’s beatitudes to get a better picture. 

If this particular litany isn’t finding resonance for your Sunday plans, see also (search in Patreon) “Litany for Loving Kinship” from 2019. 

I want to offer a reminder: when we pray these prayers aloud together, yes, we are doing congregational liturgy. But we are also doing a form of interactive sacred art. We are embodying a poem with our voices. So read with heart and gusto! We aren’t robots who speak in a monotone - we are artists making the work of the people!




God, we have heard about the goodness you extend to all humanity. 
The rumor is: you are Love. 
But a lot of what we’ve heard from other humans has been unclear on that, 
Instead ascribing human ego to you. 
So we are searching for the Real You, 
And getting real about ourselves in the process.


Epiphany 5 (Year C, 2022): Litany for Trying Again

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If you need some encouragement, this one's for you. 

This week I’m thinking about Isaiah in his vision; he sees himself standing before God, with God looking very terrifying and judgey, and he says, “Woe is me! I am lost, for I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips; yet my eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts!"

And with an almost-magical touch of a burning coal, an angel restores Isaiah’s self-concept. The story Isaiah is telling about himself, about his unworthiness, is revised in an instant. He can see himself as belonging there in the presence of glory.

I’m thinking also of the exhausted fishermen in Luke 5, who have worked all night for nothing. No fish. No success. Their work has been a failure and they are beleaguered and disheartened.

And then, with an almost-magical word, Jesus invites them to try again. Try again at the thing you’ve already been failing at all night long! So they gather their last energy for one more try, and cast the nets again. And suddenly the story of the night of failure is revised. The fishermen can see themselves in light of success and blessing.

I wonder how many of us are in need of a new self-concept. Or in need of a bit of encouragement to give it one more try.

I know, it’s been hard. We’re beat down. So many of our efforts have failed. We have come to see ourselves as unworthy. We feel we don’t fit in with the glory all around us. And our pockets are empty at the end of long work.

May the burning coal touch your lips, revising the stories you tell about yourself.

May Christ’s word of encouragement touch your discouraged mind, giving you the strength to start again, to try again, and to embrace a new story of hope.


God, we have been through some difficult years.
We are weary after a long night’s work (1)
And worried about coming up empty-handed.
Our failures have etched themselves deep in our souls (2),
Leading us to believe we aren’t worthy of your company.
We are in need of a new story, a more true identity.

Epiphany 4 (Year C, 2022): Litany for Conduits of Love

In this week’s gospel reading from Luke 4, Jesus is speaking some hard truths that his audience doesn’t like to hear and it nearly gets him thrown off a cliff. And what is this message that is so offends the tender ears of his listeners? Simply put: you. aren’t. special. 

Mmm, they do not want to hear that Israel isn’t the primary (read: only) beneficiary of God’s love. They don’t want to hear that God healed a Syrian and fed a Sidonite while Israelites ailed and hungered. God is supposed to be their very own pet god, working solely on their behalf. 

And Jesus, as ever, points out instead the boundlessness of God’s love and regard, for humans of all nationalities. Not just Israelite Jews. And not just American Christians, either. 

Jesus is breathing fire here, and it is the fire of unconditional love. May we learn how to channel it too! Even though it might make the gatekeepers mad. 

(I’ve included elements from the other readings in this week’s Lectionary selection in this litany as well.)



God, we are working on knowing that you’re within us. 
We’re getting better at working with the power you share with us. 
Your power and energy are unlimited, 
But our humanity is a finite container;
So instead of being containers, 
We’re learning to be like pipes - conduits of love. 


Epiphany 3 (Year C, 2022): Litany for How Not to Quit

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I chuckled at Jesus’ lil mic drop moment in this week’s gospel of Luke 4. He stands up, reads a brief passage from Isaiah, hands the scroll back, sits down and says “this scripture has been fulfilled in your hearing.” I’m it, y’all. It’s me and it’s happening here and now. I feel a little sass from him here and I like it.

He’s “proclaiming release to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to let the oppressed go free… the year of the Lord's favor." A big deal. A strong statement - a MANIFESTO! - and one that threatens to topple all the power systems of his day.

And I’m thinking, if we were to proclaim these things with as much confidence here in our own time and place, what systems would topple? The prison-industrial complex? The medical-industrial complex? Capitalism’s hierarchy of haves and have-nots?...

My thinking is: they killed Jesus because they knew he was serious. He was working for a large-scale power shift and toppling of hierarchies. They thought killing the head would stop the beast, but SURPRISE WE’RE STILL HERE. Of course, lots of people interpret this differently than I do.

So I wonder, how do we go all in for this liberation manifesto as imagined by Isaiah and embraced by the Christ? How can we put our money and time and action where our mouth is? And, knowing that the powers that be won’t like it… that even our own religious systems and hierarchies won’t like it, that we will face ongoing resistance and a long, uphill battle?

Further, how can we partner with and serve people of faith who have already been doing this long uphill, resistance-laden work for centuries? Like the Rev. Dr. King whom we celebrated in the US this week, and so many other civil rights activists and other advocates doing long work?

I hope in 2022 we are not just thinking about this but actually doing it.


God, we are waking up to ways we have been complacent with Christ’s vision.
When he said, “I’m here to free captives,
Heal broken systems and wake up oblivious people,
Dismantle oppression in all forms,”
We believe he meant it.
And we hear the invitation to participate.

Epiphany 1 (First Sunday after Epiphany, Year C, 2022): Litany for God in the World

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Baptism of the Lord. This litany draws from the texts for the first Sunday after Epiphany.  It is, for me, a prayer of completion and gratitude. God-with-us is never far off. 


God, as we celebrate Epiphany -
The revealing of God-with-us,
God lovingly entered into the earth-realm,
God in human form,
God affirmed by heaven’s voice (1),
God sought and found by wisdom-seekers (2),
God companionable with creation,
God revealed as Love,
God participating in human life and ritual (3),
God’s Spirit present among us (4)...

Epiphany (Year C 2022): Litany for the Light of Love

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In the texts for Epiphany Year C, the epistle mentions “the wisdom of God in its rich variety” (Ephesians 3:10). Paul seems to grasp the winsome invitation of God’s welcome to humans of all kinds. The most unexpected people show up at the door - astrologers from far away who glimpsed the story in the stars; gentiles whom Jews like Paul would have avoided any religious sharing with; peasants with nothing to recommend them. “Nations shall come,” says the prophet Isaiah, drawn by the light of Love (60:3). You just never know when a king, or a beggar, might come knocking.

Where we thought we needed to be gate-keepers, we find we get to be greeters. Where once we saw foreigners, now we perceive fellow travelers. Let this expansive light (Arise, shine, for your light has come! - Isaiah 60:1) be our guidance here in this new year.


God, wise people the world over have sought and found you,
And experienced the Love that undergirds the universe,
That is the hallmark of your presence
And the stuff of your being.

New Year’s Day (2022): Litany for Fresh Purpose

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Hello friends! This is the last litany I'll write in 2021! I'm sharing it now in case it might assist you in your plans for the next couple of weeks. I'll be going dark and resting from writing for a bit.

I have made this particular prayer public, so feel free to send it along to friends and colleagues. I also have available:

Litany for a New Year (from 2018)

Litany for New Year's Day (from 2016)

Thank you to all who have followed along this year, shared my prayers, jumped on my Patreon, and prayed along with me.

And to all you who are there in the everyday trenches of spiritual work and ministry, doing care and practicing presence: may you be blessed with wisdom, fresh energy and compassion, rest, and purpose. May every wound your soul sustained this past year be soothed and healed, and your confidence in the Commonwealth of Heaven strengthened.


God as we close another calendar year 
And look toward a new one,
We remember that every day is a new day;
Not just New Year’s Day. 

Every day we can choose fresh purpose (1), 
Access fresh wisdom, 
Practice gratitude for our gifts, blessings, and experiences, 
Practice mercy and love toward ourselves and others (2). 

Every day we can take an honest look at ourselves, 
Assess our unhelpful habits and patterns, 
Create new ones,
Ask for help. 

Everyday we can shut out voices that tear us down, 
And practice listening to the truth about ourselves:
We are beloved, accepted, encased in Divine Love. 
We have access to everything we need (3). 

We ask for strength in the coming year:
To continue growing in wisdom,
To continue our healing journey,
To continue our creative work,
To continue our self-care,
To continue awakening to truth and oneness,
To continue in generosity and serving our neighbors (4), 
To continue the work of bringing heaven to earth. 

Whatever happens this year, we know you are alive within us, 
Your light is shared and burning in our hearts. 
We know that life can be enjoyed (5), 
And rest can be found.
We know each time our eyes open, 
The mercies are new and the goodness is flowing (6).

Amen


  1. Revelation 21:5

  2. Ecclesiastes 3:13

  3. Psalm 8:6

  4. Matthew 25:36

  5. Ecclesiastes 3:12

  6. Psalm 8:1





Christmas 2 (Year C 2021): Litany for Celebrating Christ

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Inspiration for this litany is drawn from the texts for the 2nd Sunday after Christmas, Year C. 


God, we are becoming more mature,
More capacious in our inward hearts, 
Able to bear witness to our hardships and sorrow, 
But still keep hold of gratitude and joy. 
We know that a great deal of inner space and nuance is required, 
If we want to be happy and healthy in these times.


Christmas 1 (Year C, 2021): Litany for Christ Among Us

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Here is the litany for the first Sunday after Christmas, Year C. This year that falls on 12/26/21. In the texts for this day, we witness the young Jesus having completely forgotten his family and responsibilities, he's so caught up in seeking and reveling in wisdom at the temple. May we seek wisdom and connection with the Divine with such single-mindedness.

I hope to have Christmas 2, as well as a New Year's prayer for you all by early next week. Cheers!



God, in this Christmas season we turn our hearts and minds to your great love
Which is demonstrated in the person of Christ:
A powerful force for transformation in the world,
Available and freely given to us all.


Christmas (Year C, 2021): Acceptance and Arrival

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Y’all, I couldn’t decide which Lectionary Proper to focus on for this litany, so I drew from all 3! Hence the more-than-usual number of citations.

The final (not penultimate, just the last left to discuss here. Some of us have to repeat stages here and there, hello) stage of grief is Acceptance. In acceptance we, at least temporarily, move into a place of non-resistance to our reality, and from here we find that we can actually function, do some good, find some relief, move forward with building a life in the New Normal.

And what’s the New Normal that Christ points us to? Now that we have done all this preparation in Advent; now that we’ve let ourselves feel sorrow and grief, and taken a hard look at our world and our own responses to it? How will we live now?

What we longed for has arrived. With the arrival of Christ - this cohesive force, gathering up all the world's suffering and pronouncing it No Longer Necessary; showing us a different way to be in the world, new structures and systems available for imaginative people - we are looking at a New Normal.

So the question for us is: Will we live in the New Normal that Christ points out for us? Or will we revert back to living in our old ways, our old harmful structures, re-living our pain and trauma in a loop? Will the Word, as John calls the Christ, become flesh among us? And will we enter into the joy, gladness, and gratitude offered to us in the world that Christ envisions and embodies?

I hope we will. Merry Christmas, friends.


God, at times we become so identified with our pain
That we can’t even imagine a different experience.
We hold onto trauma and suffering like a life-raft,
Thinking it will take us somewhere we haven’t been before.

Advent 4 (Year C, 2021): Depression and Love

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In Mary’s Magnificat we hear the voice of a young prophet - not only is Mary a woman, but she is YOUNG - and yet she demonstrates a deep understanding of the plight of her people, and of herself as part of that people. And, even more remarkably to me today, her expression is uttered to her cousin Elizabeth. One of the most radical and often suppressed songs of resistance ever recorded by humans is spoken by a young woman to an older woman. 

I especially love how she speaks in present tense: God has filled the hungry. God has shown strength. Here and now, God has done this. She is sure, even though she can’t see all the evidence. This is the Advent posture. 

So I’m thinking of the Magnificat this week alongside my own feelings and observations of holiday futility - obligatory shopping and gift-giving, obligatory visits with family we may or may not enjoy, the ongoing pandemic and worsening environmental crisis, wealth disparity and racial inequity, and on and on. They want me to think about hope, peace, joy, and love NOW? Even though I can’t see the evidence?

It’s not a far leap for me, in light of the plight of my own people, from love to depression - the 4th stage of grief according to Dr. Kessler and Dr. Kubler-Ross. It occurs to me that I wouldn’t feel such grief for the world if I did not love it. I wouldn’t experience the low feelings of depression if they had no contrast with the heights of love. It’s almost as if depression, with its cynical but fairly (overly?) realistic take on things as they are, invites me into more love. Love in spite of. Love bearing witness to. Love wide open. Love loving everything, here and now. 

People tell us: love is risky. Love opens us to the pain of loss. They say: grief is love with nowhere to go.* I mostly think they’re right. Love has polarity, like every unified thing in existence. And it seems grief, specifically depression, can be a very Advent-y pathway to perceiving that whole. 

God, many of us experience melancholy, even despair. 
We know what it's like to feel overwhelmed by sadness at times. 
Some of us are lifelong companions of depression. 
We empathize with the misery we witness in the world. 


Advent 3 (Year C 2021): Bargaining and Joy

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For this week’s litany I’m thinking of the texts, in which we are exhorted to BE JOYFUL! Because God is saving the day. God is rescuing, healing, restoring, setting-right. But I’m also thinking about Bargaining, the third stage of grief, as proposed by Dr Kessler and Dr. Kubler-Ross. For more on why I’m juxtaposing these two lenses on Advent, please go back and read my introduction to Advent Week 1.

In the Bargaining phase, our sorrow-stricken minds fight against reality. We cannot accept the state of things, so in our distress, the ego puffs up. It tells us that we can change this, we can fix it; it insists that this is not the way things will be and we’ll use whatever means necessary to remedy it. We bargain - possessions, behaviors, money, priorities, whatever we have at hand - in the futile hope that we can make a deal with the Powers That Be that will change their mind. Perhaps I can give up this bad habit and God will relent? Perhaps I can perform this act of service and the mind of the Universe will be changed? We try to force things to be the way we want them to be.

This is different from Denial. Denial cannot look reality in the face. Bargaining observes it and insists that it can be controlled. In the Bargaining phase, we believe we can trade something of ours for a different outcome. Advent is traditionally considered a penitential season. Our tendency toward bargaining slips in when we imagine that we might use the penitential season for our own ends.

I think we all get lost in this Bargaining phase now and again. Hopefully we pass through it sooner than later. I see whole swaths of church culture that are based in a prosperity gospel ego ponzi scheme of bargaining.

But real joy doesn’t come by force. It has no strings attached. In my experience, it comes to me by way of my awareness: I wake up to it - it was there all along. I was just too distracted to see it before. I must cultivate my awareness so that I can flow with joy.

Where bargaining forces, joy allows. Where bargaining tightens, joy releases. Where bargaining resists what is, joy looks without judgement and sees beyond. Where bargaining seeks control, joy assumes childlike trust. Spiritual teachers the world over have been saying this for millennia.

This is not to say that this, or any, phase of grief is inherently bad. It’s simply a point on the journey many of us will take. No need to try to avoid it. All we can do is notice and learn. We can offer loving awareness to that urge to strong-arm our circumstances.


God, sometimes we get caught up in illusions of control.
We think that we can force the world to bend to our will,
Or manipulate our grief away.
We hold joy at arms-length while we struggle to avoid pain.

Advent 2 (Year C, 2021): Anger and Peace

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Thanks for reading and subscribing.
You can find archived litanies here, and purchase my book here.
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If you missed my introduction to this Advent litany series, please go back and read the previous post.

The second stage of the grief process, as observed and synthesized by Dr. Elizabeth Kubler Ross and Dr. David Kessler, is anger. I say it’s “second” but that doesn’t mean it always appears for everyone in some perfect order. My own experience has taught me that grief is cyclical, and I often find myself returning to various phases for deeper work. And certainly moving through phases of anger has been a significant part of my own journey.

We stay in each phase as long as it takes, which is an unpredictable length of time because grief is an unruly process.

I’m leaning into contradictions and paradox. Into what sometimes feels like impossibility! Like this: in a world of anger, violence, injustice, suffering, we are continually advised by the Christ to be at peace, to create peace, and to not be fearful. How on earth? I can see how in heaven, but how on earth? Luke writes that, going along with God’s promise, “By the tender mercy of our God, the dawn from on high will break upon us.”

In the meantime we have plenty to be angry about. Neither inner or societal peace are going to come about consistently without some work on our part - some training and continual embracing of the Peace of Christ, even in light of our righteous anger about unjust systems and trauma.

Advent invites us to reconcile the irreconcilable, and to learn to be comfortable with that dissonance and keep faith in spite of it. Advent offers us a peek behind the veil: what are we looking at? Now, what are we looking FOR?


God, we are challenged to live peaceably in a society filled with anger,
In which reactivity and outrage are normal,
Where most everyone is living with trauma of some kind or other,
And systemic dysfunction is all around.
We see how the dominant culture habitually covers up conflict, calling it peace,
While disregarding justice…